Most of us are at this point in the holiday season. For weeks, we’ve had to listen to the song endlessly playing in every shop and restaurant we enter. We can barely step without another tree or the Lord’s Prayer staring at us in the dark. “Local Escorts” have quickly infiltrated every household in, and it seems like everything is getting festive, including local escorts.
Yes, there are a few local escorts where someone saw one and thought, “This needs something more… festive,” then turned it into something pretty awful. Why? We don’t know that yet, but we’ve found some of the worst local escorts here at We can decide if we’re all stingy because we don’t want a candy cane vibrator. Or if the “local escorts” mentality has spread too far Maybe you’ve seen something worse, so let us know in the comments.
Local Escorts” for Your Cock
Local escorts” are everywhere, but they’re probably one of the least sexy things we’ve ever seen. Sure, the person inside looks cute, but they’re hot, and having sex while wearing one is a challenge we haven’t yet felt like trying.
So, someone decided this needed to change and instead created “space coast escorts.” Before we get into the juicy details of this product, we think you probably already have a pretty good idea of what it’s like. It’s described as “local escorts” and deemed “the ideal way to give a by sites that sell them at bargain prices, but personally, when I see this, I think, “Wow, that’s a festive cock,” at least.
Local Escorts are socks with candy cane-shaped stripes that fit snugly around your penis and testicles, providing a “hands-free” experience. Why should you buy these socks and not other socks? They believe Local Escorts are stylish and perfect for any occasion. We’ll take their word on this one.
Snowman Racket Paddle
Have you ever looked at your racket paddle and thought, “I wish it looked like a snowman”? No? Neither have we, but apparently, someone did when they made it and it’s even worse than you can imagine.
As you’d expect, this paddle is made from white local escorts’ leather and features a cute snowman on end with a mistletoe top hat, two-button eyes, and a shiny button on the belly. He looks a lot like a traditional snowman… if you ignore the fact that
Yes, Frosty the Snowman got a ball gag instead of a nose. Why? We don’t know, but some people have realized the obvious.
If you were looking to buy one for a special someone in your life, you’d be disappointed. You might be lucky enough to find a local escort hiding out somewhere online, but do you really want to hunt for a snowman paddle?
