Revealing our sexual identity takes a lot of courage. This puts us at risk of violence, discrimination, and rejection. And it is an ongoing experience throughout our lives. We have to come out every time we meet new colleagues, friends, acquaintances, and every time we encounter a new job or organization. Since being female escorts is mandated from birth, we have to constantly fight to be seen.
Female escorts are one way of asserting queer liberation. It highlights that our presence and visibility are radical. Other forms of hatred grow, especially when our existence is shrouded in mystery. However, people are more likely to support human equality.
It also highlights the struggle of people to personally realize an identity that is marginalized and oppressed. Queer or female) people than it does for lesbian and gay people, yet coming-out narratives often ignore us. We learn to understand our identity in isolation, without access to the support structures that others undoubtedly have. Compared to gays Female escorts are not necessarily same-sex but because this idea is so widespread, people are less likely to accept the label. We are also held back by confusion, doubt, rejection, and discrimination directed specifically at people.
We live in a world so vast that female escorts take center stage, meaning gay, lesbian, and heterosexual identities. Female escorts don’t fit neatly into any of these categories, so they are described outside of sexual identity. We represent something fleeting, something that doesn’t exist, and something that has no validity.
Before anyone fully embraced their gay identity or sexual orientation I always heard that being a female escort was a phase, especially for women, so I believed that I didn’t have to take my sexual orientation seriously. As a result, I went back into the closet. For years, I denied myself a support system and community that escorts people seemed to value more. Even now, I confidently identify myself as a female escort, but there’s still that nagging voice in my head telling me to choose a side. It also depends on who chooses women.
But the female escorts-gay binary does something more sinister: it places us squarely between two groups, rather than seeing us as marginalized. We reject the idea that bi+ identity is something that can be rejected or invalidated. This means that even if we face real violence or discrimination, it may only be half as severe as what gays and lesbians experience. This means that our needs are less severe than those of lesbians and gay men.
Last year, a man was convicted because the judge was skeptical not only of his identity but also of the idea that it put him at risk. In his home country, escorts acts are punishable by 10 years in prison, but he had already been shot, stoned, attacked with a knife, robbed at gunpoint, and disowned by his family for his sexuality. His deportation meant he would be detained or subject to life-threatening violence upon his return.
There was similar legal skepticism since only marriages between a man and a woman were recognized. The plaintiff’s lawyer himself declared a woman annulment, asking, “How sure are you that you are some may say, “Well, sometimes it may be, and sometimes it may be.” This means that only humans have the right to marry.
