There have been a lot of reflections, exchanges, and advice on quarantine and how it affects romantic dating partners, but most of these reflections focus on couples quarantining together. I’ll be the first to recognize the lack of time for myself alone, the struggle to set boundaries in the same space, and the struggle to stay fresh overall, but the flip side of all this is arguably even crazier. Those who don’t live with their dating partners and are therefore forced to self-isolate or quarantine without them are faced with great uncertainty about when on earth they’ll be able to reunite with their dating partners, and the fear of how they’ll stay sane until then. That indefinite day this is awful, these are difficult times, and those who deny it are out of touch with reality. If you’re not living together and therefore separated for the time being, your casual dating partners are probably newer, more cautious, more independent (or all of the above). And if you resisted the urge to spontaneously move in together right away when things first started happening around here a few weeks ago, casual dating is probably reason enough to do so. Perhaps you both know that such behavior would destroy a relationship and want to continue the relationship. Because you like each other maybe you even love each other. Love is a wonderful thing. And damn, that’s the only thing that keeps this old world from completely collapsing. So, regardless of the specifics of your situation, it’s important in this perilous time to keep your love alive across the boundaries of the universe.
Whether your partner is new to casual dating or not, know that the fear and loneliness you’re feeling right now are completely valid. So, whatever emotions you’re having, don’t beat yourself up! Especially for those of us who are prone to anxiety, insecurity, and fear of abandonment even in the best of times, the stress levels during this period of isolation may seem insurmountable. Know that it’s not they’re in it together. Try to be open about your feelings and concerns, especially if you’re not comfortable with each other. Dating if you feel like being too honest might scare your partner away from your casual relationship; it could bring the two of you closer together over time. And really, we all need someone to be genuine with. Plan to call or video chat with your partner at regular intervals Discuss what type of interaction feels best to you. It’s not foolish to plan things. Once you’ve defined your possibilities and aspirations, at least some of the tension and uncertainty will disappear.
