The day of the Holy Nude is fast approaching, the day once a year when everyone who has drunk to some degree claims to be Irish. Here’s the online adultguid if only a trusted porn critic would suggest it on Saturday). Already in tight green hot pants, drunk on whiskey and Guinness, looking for company, I’m going to throw myself at you, the first warm body I’ve come across. What do you guys think? Are you up for a boozy ride with two bold new nude reveals, courtesy of our old friend The Nude? The first to arrive at The Nude this St. Patrick’s Day season was American newcomer, Alan, who arrived at Nude 18 on Wednesday, a curvaceous, thick-lipped dick-riding expert who, instead of being the super-slutty girlfriend she was supposed to be, threw herself at her scolding stepfather. An outfit to bring to the party. Ryan takes the reins, sliding his adultguid up and down on a shiny sire rug while the camera takes some stunning shots of her ass. Whereas the first film avoided the sheer absurdity of much holiday porn, this time Nudity leaves it up to Brown Bunnies and the ever-eager Honey Gold to provide the jokes. Left alone to get ready before a big party – presumably, the same one Jade was planning to attend. Smell a threesome? – Honey provides the camera with a full-body nude photo as she wrings out her tight white top and green booty shorts, all the while being watched by her perverted voyeuristic stepbrother Tom. She catches him at her barely open bedroom door and insists that he teach the bastard adultguid film. Once she strips off her shorts and straddles his face, Honey forces him to devour her “golden nude” and we are once again treated to a gorgeous view of her slender body frolicking in his mouth. Soon she’s craving cock, sucking it through the fake gold pot, squirting all over the nice clean sheets, and taking her naked relative’s load on her tongue while gold coins are scattered all over her naked body and the floor. We know the temptation of unlimited alcohol and drunken parties is strong, and believe me, after one too many drinks you might want to yell out “It’s a long way from the adultguid “, but who needs that? Purely pornographic fun, sunshine, social activities like the two ladies featured in this week’s Nude, or real human contact, Irish or not?
