Breaking up with someone is brutal because you essentially lose your best friend. You no longer have set weekend plans. It’s like someone has left a big hole in your social life.
But is that always the best thing? Read on for tips on how to build friendships on casual dating and whether you should do it.
You need some time without her at first
Just break up with someone? Casual dating follows this rule, sorry sis. You need time to get over them, but you can’t do that if you’re constantly looking at their IG grid or chatting with them at 2 am. If you don’t distance yourself from him, you’ll never fall in love with him. That’s just how it works. So if a guy breaks up with you and still wants to go out to brunch with you on Sunday, tell him “no.” You need to forget about him for a few months. After a reasonable amount of time, you’ll be able to start dating and you’ll no longer be tearing up at the thought of waking up without him
Ask yourself if you’re jealous of the people he’s dating
Now is the time to be painfully honest about casual dating. Do you secretly yearn for casual dating? Are you stalking his new partner online? Do you bite your tongue when you see your partner kissing his girlfriend at dinner? Well, you haven’t forgotten about her yet. And no rule says you have to get over someone in a certain amount of time. But if you’re not in love with someone yet, be kind to yourself too (who else would you be?). Don’t put yourself in social situations where you have to hang out with your partner or his current girlfriend. Avoid their invitations. Instead, stay home and make sure your cat wears a sweater. Anything is better and less pathetic than being consumed with jealousy because he’s friends with your casual dating partner.
Limits, Boundaries, Boundaries
It’s late, you’re hanging out with your casual dating partner, and you’re both drunk. Would it be so bad to engage with him one last time? Or maybe you could just cuddle until you fall asleep. Maybe you could tell him how much you miss him…is that so bad?
This is the worst idea, sis. Don’t let friendship lines get blurred; it’ll only make things even harder for you. Going on a casual date is like eating cheese when you’re lactose intolerant: it’s the easiest thing to do, but it could cause you a lot of pain later. Why are you still friends with your casual dating partner? Maybe it’s because he’s funny, or cute, or the life of the party. You’re still friends with your casual dating partner because you care about him on some level. Great! The good news is you can still have all of that as friends. Put him in the platonic box in your mind. Tell yourself, “I’m not interested in seeing this person naked anymore,” and don’t do anything unkind to them, like cuddling or spending the night. It’s very easy to get stuck in a weird semi-relationship where you both never get to move forward in the direction you should be. If you insist on staying friends instead, maintain strict boundaries, and you’ll have even more rich friendships in your life. Good luck, girls.
