Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We talk about our plans, feelings, goals, and how much sex we want to have with each other. But what about your body language? Or how your actions indicate that you’re having sex with me? Do these reflect the sex you’re verbally affirming? Most of you have probably heard of The Five Adult Sex Languages. Learning your own and your partner’s sex language is the most effective and easiest way to strengthen your relationship. If you treat your partner better, take the time to learn, and genuinely appreciate their adult sex language, they will treat you better and your relationship will flourish overall.
- Words of Affirmation
If your partner speaks this language, you may find that your words speak louder than your actions. Unsolicited compliments, verbal words of appreciation, and hearing the words “I love you” are very important to people who speak this language. Try the following suggestions to show your partner who speaks this language that you like them.
Thank your partner for taking out the trash or washing the dishes.
If your partner takes the time to dress up, encourage them. Tell him that you always like the way he looks in that suit/dress. Tell them the little things you appreciate about them.
When you’ve done something wrong, take responsibility and apologize with sincere humility.
- Helpful
Contrary to previous quotes about adult sex, when it comes to being helpful, actions speak louder than words. Anything you can do to ease the responsibilities on your partner’s to-do list speaks louder. Taking back what you say, pushing your partner to try harder, or slacking around a partner who speaks this adult sex language communicates that their feelings are not important.
Do things for your partner that he hates. I hate doing the dishes, so my partner often does it for me.
-When you get up to refill your drinks, ask your partner if they need anything in the fridge.
Select something from your partner’s to-do list and do it without complaining or hesitation.
- Receiving a gift
The saying “it’s the thought that counts” rings especially true in this context of adult sex scenes. It’s not just about materialism, it’s about the thought and effort behind the gift. Giving your partner a gift that speaks this adult sexy language shows that you care about them and value them more than any other thing you might have used for a gift.
– Give your partner something that reminds you of each other’s first date. – Find something that reminds you of your partner (sunflowers because he’s always happy, Snickers because they make him laugh, etc.) and give it to him.
Buy your partner something that will make their life easier. If they garden, buy them a new pair of gardening gloves. If they’re always “writing this down,” buy them a planner or notebook.
Pick up your partner’s favorite candy bar when you get gas on the way home from work.
- Quality Time
For those who speak the language of adult sex, nothing says “I’m with you” like your focus. Spending time with your partner makes them feel special and loved. Distractions like TV, phones, and work can make your partner feel hurt and unimportant when you’re trying to spend time with them.
Plan a special night together. Spending scheduled time with your partner feels more intentional and special than just hanging out whenever you have the time.
