Former partners, fearful of my Goddess flame, tried to extinguish it, so they called me a sex addict. In my opinion, this term is grossly misused. To be clear, I think this is usually the case. However, many adults call themselves sex addicts who disagree about the nature and actual existence of sex addiction in adulthood. Is this a thing or a practical construct?
Useful double standard
There is not much research on adult sex addiction, but 3-6% of people in the United States have sex addiction, of which 80-85% are men. Men also seem to be much more likely to seek treatment. Given these statistics, it is hard not to note that adult sex addiction is a classic example of celebrities and politicians (most often men) being arrested for misconduct or arrested for sexual misconduct or sexual solicitation. Naturally, some wonder if this is just an excuse for something bad.
On the other hand, I have noticed that the same terms often used to describe masculinity can also be used to categorize women and make them feel guilty for their hyper-sexuality. This is the case, for example, in Spike Lee’s episode remake of The Man: A Novel, where the indomitable black feminist protagonist declares: “I don’t own anybody, I’m sure.” While female sexuality is associated with shame, this is not true for male sexuality. Only women are sluts. Shame is a powerful weapon against female sexuality.
The fact that most sex addict adults are men is compounded by the fact that we live in a culture that encourages destructive excessive “masculinity” in men and that many men feel pressured to conform to a certain “sexual orientation”, even if it does not match their actual desires. It is also worth noting that gay or bisexual men are three times more likely to be diagnosed with sex addiction as adults than heterosexual men, according to a clinical psychologist in New Mexico and author of “Add to this the fact that it is frowned upon by women”. This explains the highly skewed adult sex addiction statistics that falsely show that men are more sexually starved. ”
But scientifically speaking, is it an addiction?
Some argue that because sex addiction is not listed in adults and is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, neither are they real. But many adults who identify as sex addicts or with hypersexual disorder (and those who treat them) don’t see it that way, and their experiences cannot be ignored.
According to criteria that define addictions, such as substance use disorders and gambling, an addiction must be relapsing and have a pattern over some time. Self-described adult sex addicts claim that their thoughts about sexuality and adult sex control their lives and, as a result, affect and change their moods. They also tend to require more time and effort to find pleasure and relaxation. They have a hard time controlling or reducing their sexual urges, no matter how vulgar or “dangerous” they are perceived to be, and
Sexuality becomes the center of their world
The problem, and this is where the whole discussion comes in, is that the whole concept of adult sex addiction is based on value judgments about how excessive adult sex is and what type of sexuality a person should have. People who self-identify or are diagnosed with sex addiction tend to have increased or more frequent sex, masturbation, watching porn, having multiple partners, cheating, sexual risk behavior, going to strip clubs, and cybersex. Most, if not all, of these terms are very vague and subjective, and many different interpretations and opinions exist. After all, one woman’s prudence is another woman’s vigor – needless to say, it doesn’t make sense to lump them all together.
