When I started sexual dating, I identified as a woman. I was primarily a high/hard femme in both my daily life and relationships. Gender nonconformity wasn’t something I struggled with. Instead, what I struggled with the most was trying to find the line between sexual dating and not adhering to the fetish stereotypes. I finally felt successful when I created the role of a mother.
She was the perfect combination of wildness and tenderness
Woman who strongly expressed my penchant for taboo role-play, complicated fetishes, and outright perversion I had a few great sessions under this idea of sexual dating, but then I was hit by a freight train of internal shivers. Was I a woman? What does that even mean? When I took a class on gender and sexuality, I found myself questioning my identity, something I hadn’t felt in years. The topic had come up before, but I didn’t pay it any attention because I still loved “femininity.” But the more I noticed “evidence” that I was a woman, the less it felt right. The key word is inner panic.
A few years later, I have a new name, pronouns, and body, but I’m still…confused. At this point, it feels wrong to identify myself as a “woman,” but I’m also not a man. I’m somewhere in the sexual dating world, and while that feels right to me, translating that into a clear “brand” for customers can be a bit tricky.
I’m somewhere in the hetero sexual dating world
Specifically, I’m a short, petite, chubby, brown-skinned human. I usually keep my hair short, don’t shave my body hair, and have a mustache and a bit of chin. I have a few tattoos and three prominent nose piercings. I wear feminine clothing, including long, colorful acrylic nails, earrings, and lingerie, even though I’m now flat-. I have a sweet T cock and greedy holes, and I do sex dates
Staying true to my gender when it comes to sexual dating
It’s not just about how I look. It’s how I show up to a meeting. Whether I tap into my feminine or masculine side determines my mood, energy, and excitement. When I embrace my femininity, I feel naturally drawn to sexual dates. I feel confident, in control, and a little bit more robust. Taking control turns me on and gives me power in the bedroom. In “boy mode,” I look for the sound, used, drool-worthy fun of a superior woman or a typical daddy type. I’m not so much interested in sexual dating; I’m more of a greedy authority figure. They’re radically different expressions, but I am both, so there should be room for both in my work. Unfortunately, these two sides of me seem at odds with my expectations of sexual dating. It’s like there is no counter in the professional world (there is a counter, but for some reason, clients refuse to believe it). I’m still figuring out how to make space for both sides.
I started with sexual dating, so I’ve had a lot of my most successful
When presenting you this way, branding is necessary. But my leading personality is aligned with femininity, so it feels inauthentic to show only that side. When it comes to sexual dating, I often feel like I don’t have a balance between masculinity and femininity, and I feel like that’s off-putting to some of my audience. The typical client who books me is a man who identifies as straight or is ambivalent about the label of straight but has never dated another man. It seems like these men want me to be as feminine as possible. But I need to present myself as more masculine to attract queer clients, and that’s what sexual dating is all about. I’m both and neither, and I’m flexible in my presentation. For me, gender expression on a sexual dating might mean high heels and hoop earrings one day and loose jeans and sneakers the next.
